MYTH # 8

Hello:

From page # 40 of Elaine Kelman's book called, --- Understanding Stammering or Stuttering; appears the following words:

Myth # 8 

Stammering can be 'cured.'

Parents often ask us if stammering [stuttering] can be cured.   This makes it sound like some kind of illness, --- which it is not.   There are courses and techniques that will help reduce the stutter, --- it may even seem to disappear   However, many children find it exhausting to use techniques each time that they speak and they may relapse.  Many children learn to manage their stammer and learn to live with it.  There is no 'cure' for stuttering but there is much that can be done to help.

My Response:

She is quite right, much is being done to help those who stutter.  But since distorted and conglomerated fear is the  real cause of stuttering and such reality has not been accepted for the truth that it represents, then --- that help is not as efficient as it could be.

I am reminded here of the discovery of Insulin by Frederick Banting.   When he first went to Professor Macleod to obtain laboratory space, to try out his theory , he was told that his ideas would probably all disappear into a cloud of smoke. 

Later he was told by the Professor that in all probability a magical solution to solve diabetes would never be found.   You can watch the story unfold on youtube.com, by typing in the title, --- Glory Enough For All.

Theoretically we can solve every problem for anyone who stutters.  However in real life such perfection can easily escape us.   One of the ways that such failure may occur is as follows:  If the stuttering occurred because a child was sexually molested and that child does not want to reveal the truth, or more accurately, is coerced into silence, --- then the stuttering may never be cured.

It is of significance to understand that the feelings of fear, in the form of disgust or embarrassment etc., can be overcome with the acceptance on the part of the child, --- in this instance, --- that he or she was in no way responsible for the abuse.   Overcoming that fear of disgust or embarrassment is central to the method by which the stuttering can be eliminated.

If that outcome can be achieved, then it becomes unnecessary for the guilty party to be named.   Ruining the reputation and the life of one’s father or some other close relative is not always what the aggrieved person would want to do.

The author, Elaine Kelman is indeed right when she states that  stuttering is not some kind of illness.   But knowing that the cause can be realized is far better than resorting to a technique which, as the author readily admits, becomes too time consuming and exhausting for the stutterer to adhere to.
 
Just the fact that there is supposedly no cure, leaves the stutterer in a state of confusion wondering when and how the stutter will make its way back into the person’s manner of speech, in a way that is beyond the control of the said speaker. 
 
Stating that there is a cure for stuttering and then backing it up with proven methods for achieving such fluency is far more efficient than that which is accepted as the ultimate level of help that is available at the present time.     

A MYTH --- OR THE TRUTH???

Hello:

On page 39 of Elaine Kelman's book called, --- Understanding Stammering or Stuttering the following words appear:

Myth # 4 --- Stuttering is caused by an event.

Some children and their parents say that they recall an event --- a family row or the birth of a sibling --- that happened around the time when the stuttering began.

However, such events occur in the lives of all children, and only a minority of children stammer.  In some cases an event may have been the trigger rather than the cause of the stutter in a child whose speech was already vulnerable.  It is more likely that the timing of the event was purely incidental.

My answer:    

It is more likely that the author's lack of knowledge about how the emotion of fear can influence human behavior, especially when it comes to fluent speech, is purely incidental.

You can play with words if you want to but in my world being the trigger and being part of the cause amounts to the very same thing.   And where did you [the author] get the notion that everyone must react the same way to a traumatic event?  

Let's look at King George's older brother.  He was subjected to the same kind of parental abuse as his younger brother.   But he did not have a nanny that  intrinsically added to his level of stress.  

His older brother David, made a decision, conscious or otherwise, not to show his fear in his voice.   He hid it inside until his father's death prevented him from avoiding the truth any longer.  He then opted to marry the twice divorced Mrs. Simpson.

Subsequently, his forced abdication, and his profoundly expressed love for Mrs. Simpson allowed him to abdicate and never let it come to the surface that he was terrified of becoming the King with all the responsibilities involved.

I will readily admit that in some cases we cannot fathom the extent of the deflection in human behavior that the emotion of fear can cause to happen.  

But that is not an excuse to decide that unless every person who experiences some kind of stress does not act the very same way, --- [in this case become a stutterer] --- that stress itself can not be the deciding factor in such behavior..

IS IT A MYTH OR THE TRUTH!!

Hello

On page 38 of her book called, --- Understanding Stammering or Stuttering,  the author Elaine Kelman lists a number of myths about the cause of stuttering.  The second myth that she mentions is actually the truth and her answer is the myth.

Parents can be partially responsible for their children's stammering but since the parent's don't know that they are doing it, one can hardly blame them.  In that regard, I concur with the author Elaine Kelman.  

First of all let's clear up the difference between the word stammering and stuttering.   In England they call it stammering and in the USA they call it stuttering.  So in reality they are synonyms that mean the very same thing.

Let me share with you the actual words that are written on this subject on page 38 of the above mentioned book:

__________________________

Myth # 2  

Parents are to blame for their child's stutter.

This is a very persistent myth.   Even in the King's Speech [the movie], the impression was given that the King may have developed a stammer because his parents were cold and unaffectionate.  

This notion has often been repeated in the media.  No one would dream of suggesting that parents cause their children to be dyslexic or to be short-sighted.  Parent's do not cause stammering.

_________________________________

I agree completely that a parent would not deliberately cause their child to stutter but they could do it if they failed to understand how stuttering happens and that is exactly what my point is.

In the brilliant movie called, --- The King's Speech, the King's father at one point says:  "I was afraid of my father and by God, my children are going to be afraid of me also.

The real cause of stuttering is distorted and conglomerated fear.   The last thing that a child needs is a parent who deliberately sets out to make them afraid of him or her.  I always thought that one should love ones children, not make them afraid of you.

I said that the King's parents, namely his father, was partly to blame.  Some of the blame must also go to the nanny who in her warped desire to keep her job, pinched the future King to make him cry when he was "presented" to his parents daily.

The King's father didn't want a cry baby in his presence and so the child was sent away with the nanny.   This gave the nanny more value than she was actually worth.   Eventually the pinching was discovered and the nanny was let go but it apparently took 3 years before this nonsense was discovered by the parents.

In all probability the nanny convinced the four year old future King to keep quiet or she would make things even worse for him.   To add to the stress, the nanny would starve the future King for a few days after such incidents as that described above.

So you might say:  Why didn't George's older brother David stutter also.  He kept his fears hidden inside and they showed up in spades when his father died and he became King.   At that moment he put his head on his Mother's shoulder and cried like a baby.

He also got up and left immediately to hide his embarrassment about his childish behavior.  Then he avoided having to face his fears by marrying Mrs. Wallace and abdicating the throne.  

Here is a perfect example of the elaborate rationalizations and the impenetrable maze of defence mechanisms that Dr. Forgione brilliantly foretold in his book called, --- Fear [Learning To Cope].   

It is my unalterable belief that only in his most private moments, did David admit such chicanery, but nevertheless it all came to pass.  
But I digress, let us go back to George who eventually became the King.    

George's inability to make the sound K, was a direct reference to the level of fear that was planted in his mind.   Only repeated success in his various speeches allowed George to complete the speech.

In another part of the movie the King comes out with a string of obscenities.  This is also a fear for the sutterer that he or she will use profanity in a setting where such behavior is unacceptable.   

This represents a new fear that comes into existence when he becomes aware that he cannot control how or when he will stutter.  In other words, he developed a fear of not being able to control what he wanted to say.   

This next conclusion on my part will risk the wrath of some of the members of the reading public but either you must follow the truth or accept partial understanding about the situation that you are discussing.

The K sound became a double fear for King George even before he became King.   That is, on the one hand it provoked the memory of his fear-mongering father and on the other hand, it represented a fear of using profanity because the letter is the start of a profane word that is used to describe a woman's birth canal.  Luckily for you the reader, I have just fallen off of my virtual soap-box. Good bye for now.            

STOP STUTTERING

I will cure you of your stuttering habit.   The longer you have had the habit, the longer it will take me to cure you of it.   I have written a book that I have called, --- The Human Mind.

I will not charge you any money to cure you.  I am in the process of writing a second edition to that book and to authenticate the ideas that I am expressing, I intend to include a number of stories about people who I have helped overcome their stuttering habit.

Unless you say otherwise, I will use an alias to describe your story so that you can remain anonymous.   If you would rather have me use your real name, --- that would be nice also.

You have nothing to lose except your stutter and everything to gain that a fluent voice can give you.  I don't have to tell a stutterer how limiting that habit can be.  They know first hand all about it.    

You can contact me at the following email address:

s.adams1710@yahoo.ca

Cheers to everyone,

Stephen Adams  

GENETICS OR NOT, --- THAT IS THE QUESTION??

Hello:

Recently I asked the assistant superintendent where my wife and I live, if he knew anyone who stuttered??   After a brief hesitation, he said that he himself stuttered when he was young.   If he had not admitted it, I would never have known.  He spoke with total fluency.

So how do those who believe that stuttering is genetic explain this situation?   Invariably they say that if it was truly genetic, then he would still be stuttering right now but since he is not, --- it wasn’t genetic to begin with.

Then the question becomes, --- what was it that caused his stuttering?   After all, if you are going to say that stuttering is genetic, shouldn’t you also know why it is not?  Their answer is that the cause of stuttering is unknown and this example fits into this scenario.

Isn’t it more than likely that the cause is distorted fear?   If in the future, the person achieves fluency, then they have, in their own way, overcome that fear, or the multitude of fears that stuttering can cause to happen inside the mind of a person who stutters.  

In the case of the above mentioned person who stuttered, bullying by others while he was young was definitely a factor in developing the stutter.   I am not sure how he developed the necessary hierarchal approach to fear that allowed him to overcome them.   At least in regard to those fears that caused the stuttering to start in the first place.

However, I will take an educated guess.   He told me that he did not read except perhaps the local newspapers now and then.   I think this forced him to decide that either he would become fluent or he would not have any other pertinent form of communication to fall back on.

It also allowed him to avoid getting into discussions where he was less than confident about his response.  Not reading gave him an “excuse” not to get too involved when he was in the stuttering stage.

It is my unequivocal belief that the above ideas are much closer to the truth than trying to invoke the genetic principle to explain this stuttering problem, or for that matter, stuttering in general.   It is my hope that you will agree with me in this matter, which I believe should be considered self-evident.

STEP UP TO THE PLATE!!!

Hello:

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink."   Sure I know I have no credentials and no experience at helping anyone overcome their stuttering.   

Nevertheless, I know that I can help you unless you have had some kind of a brain injury that is affecting your speech.   If you were fluent for awhile when you were very young, then it is not a genetic problem.

Take a drink of the water and see how much better life can be when you can talk fluently.   I won't charge you anything for my services.  But once enough people ask me for help, that will probably have to change.   Step up to the plate now --- not tomorrow!!!!  

STUTTERING

Hello:

If you think that stuttering is genetically determined perhaps your best idea is to forget all about this site.  That is --- unless you have an open mind.

In my book called the Human Mind, there is an article which I entitled, --- Stuttering Solved.  It was the title of a book that I read many years ago.  One of the stories involved a young Korean boy who was hiding from an American air attack.  

His young sister had chosen a hiding place that was too vulnerable and he decided to go across an open area to bring his sister back with him to a safer place to hide.

On the way over to get his sister, he stepped on a land mine and lost part of one of his legs.   About two months later he began to stutter.   Surely you are not going to try to tell me that his stuttering gene lay dormant until after this tragedy occurred and then it came into full bloom?? 

A much more realistic conclusion is to decide that the trauma of this situation affected the young boys nervous system.  First of all he must have realized that if he had not gone to rescue his sister, he would still have his leg.   It is my belief that the fear of his own thoughts was the starting point for his stuttering.

Then to compound the issue is the future prospects for a stuttering one-legged man after the war in his country. which was destitute to begin with.   His only option appeared to be begging for money.

The author of the book happened to show up in the boy's neighborhood and when he was able to help the boy reduce or overcome his stuttering, he suggested that the young boy come back to the USA with him, which the boy accepted immediately.

Part of the Doctor's motivation was to show off the young boy to validate his method of curing this problem.  The boys motivation was to escape the future life of a beggar that fueled his fears for his future in his homeland.

If one has a fear of elevators or any other physical fear such as that, the accepted method of overcoming that fear is to make use of the hierarchical approach.  

That means that slowly but surely the individual who is experiencing the fear is  desensitized to the feelings of fear and in the process the individual overcomes his fear.

In the story of the young boy from Korea, good luck or the vagaries of chance gave him an opportunity to take advantage of his own kind of hierarchy and he was highly motivated to become stutter-free.

Adding to his success was the fact that he already had a number of years of fluency to fall back on so that he knew it was possible for him to become fluent again.   Also the problem of stuttering had not been a long one which would have made it more difficult to break the habit of stuttering.  

So there is my theory about this problem.  If you contact me I will try to determine what trauma started your inclination to begin stuttering and then we have to address all of the fears of rejection that the stuttering would bring into existence.

So go ahead, get in touch with me and lets get started.   There are two more important things that I have to mention.   First off, the help that I offer is free.   

Secondly, and with the first item in mind, by entering this site and asking for help you relinquish any right to sue me for any problems that might occur.          

I suspect that the above entreaty is unnecessary and instead I will receive a modicum of thanks for the help that I can offer to you.  In any event, I will let the chips fall where they may.  

I am convinced that I can help you and that, my fine feathered friends, is half the battle.  Now lets get on with the other half.   I suggest that you write a letter to me right now --- not later.